My Kindergartner – 3 Months Later

We successfully made it through the first week of Kindergarten.  And the 13 more that followed after.  There were no tears, not (much) of a fuss, and after a few funny stories later he is quite comfortable in his new surroundings and acting like he has been going to school for years. 

After completing a quarter of the year, he is excelling in his school work and it doesn’t appear that the common core curriculum has had a negative impact on him (at least not yet).  I’m still quite nervous about all the work that is and will be thrown at him between now and June, but he’s been a trooper thus far and is absorbing everything in stride.  We had our very first parent teacher conference last month and he got a glowing report.  He is (thankfully) minding his manners and listening very well, which I was both happy & slightly surprised about considering he has been completely the opposite at home recently.

Since school began in September we’ve noticed a negative behavioral change in Anthony.  He’s become much more defiant than his usual five-year-old self and no matter what we ask of him (even simple questions like “please get dressed”) are answered with “I don’t wanna” or simply “no” which ultimately leads to an argument.  In talking to some of the other Kindergarten moms who are experiencing the same situation with their kids, we’ve attributed this new attitude change to the constant listening that he is doing all day combined with the stressfulness of all the work that is being asked of him as part of the common core.  Between school and his after school program, he is following someone else’s rules from 9 am to 5 pm.  By the time he comes home he’s just had enough and is taking out his frustrations on us.

In the last 3 months we’ve seen a slight improvement in his grumpiness, but we’re hoping that it will just take a little more time for him to adjust and for our sweet boy to return.  I’m honestly on the fence on how to reprimand him for this behavior because part of me feels like it’s not his fault that he’s being overworked but at the same time I need to address it so that he knows his behavior it’s not acceptable.   Who knew Kindergarten was going to bring with it such challenges!

Kindergarten School Picture

A Letter to my Son on Kindergarten Eve

To my number one man,

Only five short years ago we brought you home from the hospital and tomorrow you will embark on a whole new journey. While maybe it shouldn’t be that big of a deal since you’ve been attending an all day program since you were 17 months old, tomorrow morning marks a different kind of a milestone.  You will start your academic career which (I hope) will last for the next 14+ years.  I am such a mixed ball of emotions tonight as I sit here and listen to you sleep.

Excited:  I’m excited for all of the new things you are going to see, hear and learn.

Sad:  Truth is, it makes me a little sad to see my baby boy growing up so fast.  Tomorrow may only be the first day of kindergarten but it snuck up on me so quickly that I can only imagine how fast your elementary school years will fly by.

Nervous:  I know what a caring & gentle soul you are and I am nervous that others won’t treat you right and that bullies will try to take advantage of you.  I know that you need to learn for yourself who to listen to and how to stick up for yourself but the protective mother in me wants to shield you from all of that.

Proud:  Our hearts are just bursting with pride when we think of just how successful you will be.  You are growing up to be a sensitive, strong, independent, talented little man, who spreads joy to everyone who spends time with you.

I know we can’t protect you from everything.  You will have good days, and bad days.  You will get tempted to make bad decisions.  Not everyone will want to be your friend and there will be times when your feelings will get hurt.  I will help to soothe your broken heart and do my best to arm you with the tools you need to make your own decisions.

Always do your very best and treat others with respect.  Remember your manners but don’t forget to come home and hug me tight every day after school (until you graduate from college).

I love you to the moon & back.

 

 

Countdown to K has begun!

Look what showed up in my mailbox yesterday...

 

 

 

My first reaction was “WHAT????  already?!?”  Then I looked at the calendar and realized it was almost August.  My big man starts Kindergarten in 46 days.   OMG!!  I guess I have been in a little bit of denial that this is really happening, but it’s COMING. and coming FAST!  He sat at our dining room table last night flipping through it picking out the backpack he wants (transformers) and new markers, lunchbox, etc. 

 

We may still be waiting for his teacher assignment, but we’ve got the supplies list and he said he’s ready to get on the bus and head off to the “big kid school” (as he calls it).  He might be ready but I don’t know how ready I am….  Even though he’s been going to “school” since he was 17 months old this is going to be different.  Taking the bus…having homework…making new friends…being in a bigger class environment.  I’m both excited and a little nervous for him at the same time. 

 

For now though, I'm not thinking about that.  We’ll just stick to some back to school shopping and try to hit the stores a bit early before everything gets sold out.

Fabulous Five

Friday, April 11, 2008  3:47 pm

Wow, five years.  It’s a bit incomprehensible that five whole years have gone by since that rainy Friday afternoon when I held a little peanut of a boy in my arms for the first time as we welcomed him into our lives.  Four was a much more kind age to us than three or two ever were.  Anthony went through a LOT of maturing this past year.  Not to say that the last 12 months were all puppy dogs and rainbows, but we noticed a positive difference in some of his behaviors as compared to a year before.

 Dear Anthony,

Such a bright, caring & funny kid you are!!  You amaze me more and more with every day that goes by and I am so very lucky that god chose me to be your Mommy.  You have such a kooky sense of humor and a laughter that is just infectious.  Keep telling jokes and being silly.  The world can always use a dose of silliness. 

As I look at you now, there are certain things I admire about you.  Your generosity for one.   I am always amazed at the way you share with others.  Toys, food, crayons...whatever.  At only five years old you are already putting the feelings of others before yours.  I am simply in awe of you for that.  You are constantly thinking of your friends/family and what they might like to have.  You have a kind, gentle soul that is wise beyond its years.

This coming year brings with it so much newness.  A new school.  new friends.  new experiences. I will try my hardest to show you the right path, but I am bound to make mistakes. Please forgive me for them.  I see so much of myself in you and at times I want to shield you from the world so that you don’t get hurt.  But I need to keep reminding myself that you need to go through these experiences (like I did) so that you can grow to be the best man you can be.  I’m so proud of the boy you’ve grown into in the short 5 years that I’ve know you.  

Happy 5th Birthday to the pint sized man who completes my world!!!

I love you to the moon & back,

Mommy

xoxo  



photo credit:  Dan Stockfield

Photo Credit:  Dan Stockfield

Photo Credit:  Dan Stockfield

The K Word

It brings tears to my eyes just thinking of it….kindergarten.  How did this sneak up on me so fast?!?!  Wasn’t he just crawling and sleeping in a crib??  School applications are available starting today and I have no idea how I’m going to fill it out without it getting tear stained.  I know he has to grow up at some point but I’m just not ready to have my baby get on a bus and head off to school.  You’d think that it would be easier considering he’s been in full time daycare (and now preschool) since he was 17 months old but somehow the K word is hitting me differently than I expected.  It’s the new teachers, new surroundings and a school of 625 kids.  Yes, our district is THAT big – and this school is just pre-K and K!!  Oh and of course the bus ride to/from school. 

 

Educational wise, he's ready and has been for a while.  He's an extremely bright kid so on one hand I'm excited for him to go and start learning new things.  On the other hand, the "mom" side of my brain is worried for him.  Will he easily make new friends?  Will he get picked on?  I have so many thoughts floating through my head already and I know it will only get more intense over the next 9 months.  I’m trying not to psych myself out just yet (since I have plenty of time for that) but now that the process has begun I’m already dreading that day in September.

 

G is for Glasses

My husband and I both wear glasses. Almost everyone on both sides of our families wear glasses.  So….we didn’t have high hopes that our son would escape unscathed. 

When I took A to his 4 year physical his pediatrician did a simple eye exam, which my son proceeded to fail miserably :(  I had no idea that an eye exam was part of this visit and I had actually come prepared to ask his doctor when we should take him to the ophthalmologist.  Of course as soon as he failed she referred us to see one immediately.  I got him an appointment within the next week or two and the doctor told us he had a bad astigmatism and needed to wear glasses.

What surprised me the most wasn’t so much that he needed glasses (we knew he was probably going to need them eventually) but that we saw no outward signs that he was having difficulty seeing.  There was no squinting, no complaining that things were blurry and his teachers saw no signs either.  It’s probably because he didn’t know what he was seeing was blurry - to him it was all normal.  When he put on his glasses for the first time my heart broke just a little as he turned to me and said “Mommy, everything is so clear!”  It pains me to think about how he’s been going through life looking through a blurry piece of glass. 

It’s only been 3 days and I’m amazed at how well he’s adjusted.  Barely any complaints and he’s good about taking them off for nap time and bed time.   When he went to school yesterday his teachers told him he looked like Clark Kent, which of course made my little superhero very, very happy.   I’m sure it’s because he realizes how much keeping them on helps him, but whatever the reason is I’m not complaining and hope it continues.

not so happy at the eye doctor

our little Clark Kent!

a celebratory hibachi dinner to celebrate his new specs!!

now he looks even more like daddy!!

Mommy and A have matching pairs

Celebrating Mothers

Happy Mother’s Day to all my fellow Moms out there!  Today is a day to celebrate both ourselves and the generations before us.  From kissing boo-boos, checking the closet for monsters, wiping away the tears and celebrating the wins.  We are the reason for all of it.     

I hope everyone has a relaxing day with their families.  Cheers to us all! 

Way to Go Sheryl!

Yesterday CNN posted an interesting article about Sheryl Sandberg – the COO of Facebook. (check out the article HERE) It talked about how for the past couple of years Sheryl has left work at 5:30 to have dinner with her kids.  Sounds like a silly topic to write an article about, right??  Wrong.  Many working moms (including myself) find that there still exists a stigma if you leave the office before 5:30.  I’ve heard people joke “working a half day today, huh?” as I walk out of the office.  What business is it of theirs!   What isn’t apparent to others is that although I leave at 5:00 (most days) my work doesn’t stop.  I work through my lunch, work from the train and plug back in after my son goes to sleep to get my work done.  :::sigh::: Why do I feel the need to justify my hours?

The article talks about how “long hours and constant availability are taken as proxies for commitment and competence”.  Like the author, I find it to be quite the opposite.  Flexible working can promote productivity & commitment.  I find that I’m more productive during the day since I know I have to get out at a certain time.  What about the people who are doing personal errands during the day or playing on facebook?  Just because they stay until 7pm to make up the time they goofed off during the day doesn’t make them a better employee.

 I do find in my profession that most people come in late & work late, it’s just the nature of our business.  If you’re not in the office at 7 pm then you’re viewed to not be working hard enough.  Before I was married, working until 7 or 8 pm was my norm.  But everything changed when I had a family and I’m very lucky my job accommodated the change.  Overall, my philosophy for both myself and the people who work for me is that as long as you can get your work done I don’t’ care if you do it from outer space.

It’s sad that we as society have to write an article congratulating ourselves on spending time with our family.  It should be a given.  I applaud Sheryl for being open about her priorities and urging others to follow her lead, however I can’t help but wonder that if this was a man would we even be talking about it?

Fantastic Four?

As I sit here on the eve of my son’s 4^th birthday I can’t help but think of this moment 4 years earlier:  laying in my hospital bed apprehensive for what the next day would bring, scared of the induction, but most of all anxious to finally meet the little man that had been kicking my belly for so long.

Can it really be 4 years already?  People always tell you how fast kids grow up, but I’m really feeling it this year.  I only have one more year before he starts kindergarten and I am already dreading it. 

So much has happened in the last 4 years – good and bad.  As much as I don’t want him to grow up fast, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t happy to leave 3 safely behind us.  It’s been an extremely challenging year and Anthony has tested my patience in ways I wasn’t expecting.  I’ve heard 4’s referred to as the “fantastic fours” so please, please let that be true. 

*************************************************************

Anthony, you are growing into such a funny, warm, smart and caring boy.  I don’t like that you worry, since that’s supposed to be my job (yes, you’ve told me that you worry about everything). Your job is to be carefree and enjoy the simple things in life.  You amaze me every day at just how bright you are and I am so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.  My wish for you this year is for you to be proud of yourself and come out of your shell a little bit more.  You are such a sweet boy (when you’re not driving me crazy, ha!) and you can accomplish anything when you put your mind to it.  You are my heart and soul.  I love you.

Time to Breathe

Who doesn’t love a 3 day weekend?!  Bank holidays, like today, give me opportunity to spend quality one-on-one time with my handsome boy.  Recently he’s been getting upset when I leave for work in the morning and begging me not to go.  It breaks my heart every day but I know going to work is what’s right for my family.  I’ve also been working waaay too much recently and it’s been stressing me out.  So today was not only important to him but to me as well.  It gave us me time to breathe.

We leisurely snuggled in bed until 7:30, ate breakfast together and did some spelling with the magnets on the fridge (he spelled out his first name on the fridge for the first time!)   Then we played superheros a little, got dressed and did some shopping before stopping at his favorite place (McDonalds) for a happy meal.  After lunch we went to the park to run & play (*he took a cat nap on the way).  We finished off our day by baking pretzels together when we got home.

In one word, the day was…..perfect.  It certainly makes a difference when you stop your crazy life and just breathe for once.  I wish every day could be like this.

A Boo Boo

My son came home from preschool today with a “boo boo”.  Being an almost 4 year old boy, boo boos are a common occurrence.  However, this one was a little different in how it happened. 

He was using the electric pencil sharpener to sharpen his pencil and got curious about how exactly it worked.  So….(yes you guessed it) he stuck his finger right into the pencil sharpener.  Thank goodness he didn’t get seriously hurt and only got a minor cut.  Since it was on the tip of his finger it bled quite a bit and he managed to cut some of his nail off too.  From talking to his teachers the blood freaked him out and he was a little shook up afterwards, but by the afternoon he seemed fine.

When I got home from work I asked him what had happened but he refused to tell me anything.

Me:  How was school today?

A:  Good.

Me:  Anything happen?

A:  No.

Me:  What happened to your finger?

A:  Nothing

Me:  Did you hurt it?
A:  I don’t kinow

Me:  Did you cut it?

A:  I don’t know

Me:  Did you fall down?

A:  I don’t know

::::after about 2 minutes of the same type of questions:::

Me:  Did you stick your finger in the pencil sharpener?

A:   Yes.

Gotta love kids.

Celebrating Working Mothers!

This past week I spent 2 days at the Working Mother 2011 Work Life Congress that was held in NYC.  The theme for the two days was:  

How to Succeed in Business -- with Work Life! 

Leaders from corporate, government & education spoke about the many issues busy working moms face and how we (the collective we) need to do more than “talk the talk”.   The conference offered workshops on topics such as the best ways to implement successful flexible work programs, dependent care needs and innovative strategies for engaging men in the dialogue for work life support and effectiveness.  There was also a silent auction, from which all proceeds benefited the Museum Of Motherhood and on the second day, Working Mother held their annual Gala Dinner honoring the 100 Best Companies and the Working Mothers of the Year.  One day soon I hope to see my company not only be an attendee at this dinner, but also honored as one of the top 100 Companies.

The best speaker at the conference, in my opinion, was the keynote speaker on day 1 - Amy Hilbrich Davis, Founder & CEO of FamilyLife Success.  The majority of her talk focused around her 5 Key Ingredients to Family Success:

1.       Personal Wellness

2.       Partner Relationship

3.       Parenting Skills

4.       Support Network

5.       Home & Family Management

In her talk, she mentioned an interesting fact from her research that surprised me - 2 out of 3 parents do not feel successful with their parenting life, regardless if they work or not.   I guess managing the work conflict is not a complete solution.  Amy spoke at last year’s conference as well, which I very much enjoyed.  She presented a workshop on her inspiring mom balance map - a personalized document that helps you focus on and prioritize the things that matter most to you.

Another interesting (and quite shocking) fact that was brought up during the conference is that The United States remains one out of three countries that don’t mandate paid maternity leave (link to article is here).  To try and do something about it, Working Mother Magazine has partnered with the National Partnership for Women & Families to start an online petition to Congress.  They are asking for paid parental leave to be universally available to U.S. workers by 2015.

Join the fight by signing the petition & passing the link around.  America's Working Parents Deserve Paid Family Leave! 

Overall, I’m glad I attended the conference as there was a lot of interesting conversations though the workshops and it was also a great networking opportunity to meet other working moms. 

You Spin Me Round & Round

It’s been a while since I’ve participated in Julia’s Working Mommy Wednesday posts.  That’s because I’ve been working a LOT more than I should and sadly my blogging has fallen a bit behind.  Today I’m trying to break that cycle.

As a working mom, routine is my middle name.  During the week we’ve settled into a schedule that ensures we all get out of the house on time, and in one piece :)  A has a very structured day at preschool so at home I try to keep a schedule/routine as best I can to be consistent with what he is doing at preschool. 

Weekdays go something like this:

6 am ‘ish – A wakes up (and wakes us up)

6:10 – my alarm goes off, if I make it that long

6:15-7:00 – I shower and get ready for work while A eats some cheerios and watches TV or plays trains in his room

7:00-7:15 – Walk the dog and get A dressed for school

7:25 – Leave for work (and wake up hubby before I go)

8:30 am – hubby drops A drop off at preschool

5:30 pm – hubby picks up A from preschool

6:30 – I get home from work (on a normal non working late day)

6:45-7:30 – cook & eat dinner (maybe a little playtime with A)

7:30 pm – bedtime process begins

After that it’s anyone’s game.  Do more work…watch some TV….blog…surf the web/facebook….pack A’s school bag for the next day….make lunches to take to work….

….sleep, wake & repeat.  Round and round we go.  Routine, routine, routine.

Now weekends…..that goes a little something like this.

Wake up when we get up

Stay in our PJs until we feel like changing

Play with toys

12:00 – lunch time for A

12:45 – nap time for A

Play with some more toys

Maybe run a few errands

Go outside & play

6:00 – Dinner time

Wind down & cuddling time on the couch

7:30 pm – bedtime process begins

That is if we don’t have a party to attend or something else going on that day.  Then every schedule I could imagine goes out the window, which is fine with me.  We have way too many schedules during the week that we deserve a day off!!

This post brought to you by the Working Mommy Wednesday prompt from Julia over at Work, Wife, Mom….Life!   How important to you, as a working mom, is a schedule/routine for your kids?

Wordless Wednesday - Mother's Day

A Nightmare on OUR Street

It all started one night with the pitter patter of feet across the hallway and then the heart wrenching words “Moooommmyyyy, I had a bad dream.”  The first time it happens you feel awful for your child – you rock them, hold them do whatever you can to make them feel safe and get them back to sleep.  However, when it happens multiple times a night for weeks on end, my empathy (and patience) starts to run a bit thin.   A has always talked in his sleep, but these nightmares are a new occurrence.  So I of course ran off to read whatever I could about toddler nightmares, Turns out that it’s normal for kids to start having them around 3 years old.  Yup, that’s my kid - the punctual one.

They started out of the blue and then got worse after A got bit by a tick 2 weeks ago.  He started to freak out that the “bugs were going to get him.” My fix:  a special magic potion we sprayed each night around his bed that creates a force field no bug could get through (aka a spray bottle with water and a label made on photoshop).  Well, that took care of 1 waking….

Next up my sleeve: my spur of the moment dream catcher.  I took a shell necklace I had laying around, tied it to the lower part of his bedpost and told him that the magic necklace will take away all his bad dreams.  Ok…that took away another waking.

So we’re down to 1x a night and I’m out of crafty ideas.  Sometimes I wonder if he’s really had a bad dream or just wants more snuggle time with us, but I can’t ever make him think I don’t believe him.  So I try my hardest (in my sleepiness) to treat each time seriously, comfort him best I can and bring him back to bed.  And until this phase comes to an end (hopefully soon) I will simply be buying more coffee and concealer for the baggies under my eyes.

Dear Mommy

This week’s Working Mommy Wednesday prompt over at Work, Wife, Mom...Life! is a fun one.  Today was a crazy day at work so I’m posting this very late in the day, but it was one I couldn’t pass up.  “What was she thinking: A post from the view point of your child, about yourself”. 

Dear Mommy,

I had a great time at daycare today, but I missed you a lot.  I played cars with my best friend Chase and sat next to my girlfriend Sarah at lunch.  We had macaroni & cheese to eat.  My teacher even got me to sit on the potty a few times!!  I don’t mind that you have to work every day because I get to go and play with my friends all day.  It’s lots of fun.  I am a good helper to my teachers and help out all of the younger kids in my class.  I will miss them when I move to the big boy classroom in a couple months.

I can’t wait for you to get home from work so I can yell out “Mommy’s home” and give you one of my ‘super duper great big hugs’.  I know that you mean well when you want me to sit down and eat my dinner, but don’t you understand that playing with my Thomas trains is just much more important to me?  and don’t get me started on that white thing you want me to sit on in the bathroom.  Just give me the stickers & prizes now and we can forget about that thing…I’m just not ready; I’ll let you know when I am. 

The best part of my day is when you and I sit down in my room, snuggle and read books before bed.  I always make sure you read my favorite book last (Goodnight Moon) and I like it when we take turns saying the words. 

You are the best mommy and little boy could ever ask for and I love you very much.

Love,
Anthony

What Nobody Ever Tells You

A recent post on one of my favorite blogs Work, Wife, Mom… Life got me thinking about all the things nobody tells/warns you about motherhood. This “conspiracy of silence” as I’ll call it, is the abyss that exists between what people will tell you about having children and what it really entails. 

Here are my top 15 things nobody told me.  Feel free to share some of your favorites.

1. Besides the birth itself, going back to work will be the hardest thing you ever have to do
2. No matter how terrible your day was, a smile from your child can melt it all away
3. Sometimes they just want Daddy, and it will hurt your feelings
4. You will never ever go the bathroom alone again…Ever
5. Food habits change daily.  If they want to eat macaroni & cheese for 3 weeks straight, let ‘em.  They’ll grow out of it
6. Nobody gives hugs quite like Mommy, but having them want those hugs at 3 am is not so cute
7. No matter how many sit-ups you do, your abs will never recover.  Never
8. You will gain (and loose) friends
9. Watch out for those competitive moms – they are evil
10. No matter how hard you battle, you will loose some control of your life. Nothing with children is/can be planned…you just have to go with the flow
11. You won't do everything right the first time. You'll have regrets, but learn from your mistakes and move on
12. Simple functions, such as taking a bath, become a synchronized event
13. After pregnancy your feet may remain a size bigger…permanently
14. No matter how many times you tell yourself you won't become that annoying parent who has a story about their kid to tell anyone who will listen, you will become that person. And you will be proud of it
15. “Pregnancy brain” never really goes away.  You will continue to forget everything and leave yourself post it reminders