Do you Hear That??

Neither do I.  That’s the sound of silence at 8:30 pm.  Bedtime had been a battle with my son over the last few months but this past week we finally got back into our groove.  It wasn’t so much the getting into bed part, but more of the staying in bed part.  Every night was something straight out of Adam Mansbach’s book “Go the F**k to Sleep”.  It went a little something like this:

A:  Mom, will you lay here with me?
Me:  Sure.  I will stay for 5 minutes.

A:  Ok.

(after 5-10 minutes I get up kiss A good night & go downstairs)

Me:  Good night, sleep tight.

A:  Good night Mommy

….30 seconds later

A:  Maaaaaa!!!!! 

Me:  (running up 2 flights of stairs)  yes?

A:  (Insert any number of excuses phrases here)  I need you/ I’m scared/ I’m thirsty/ I have to go potty

I would start all over again - sit with him for 5-10 minutes until he calmed down, let him know that I can see him on the monitor and will check on him in a little while & then proceed to go back downstairs.

….1-2 minutes later

A:  Maaaaaa!!!!!   Can you hear me????

Me:  Yes A, what is it?

A:  I need you/ I’m scared/ I’m thirsty/ I have to go potty

You get the point.  This would repeat for about 2 hours until A would fall asleep from exhaustion and I would be stressed beyond my limit. 

So, what’s changed?  I finally figured out that A’s biggest concern when going to sleep was me being 2 floors away in the downstairs living room.  He didn’t care that I could hear and see him on the monitor – he wanted the physical proximity of me while he was falling asleep.  I didn’t have to be IN his room, but he wanted me nearby.  So instead of sitting with my laptop on the couch downstairs after putting A to bed, I relocated myself across the hall to my bedroom until he’s asleep.  Since making the change he not only falls asleep faster but is sleeping more soundly – no more wake ups during the night.

It’s amazing how much better you feel when you get uninterrupted sleep.